Killer poptart....well, it's not the poptarts fault....

So I was sittin round the house today and it is especailly nice outside since it is now fall (officially? I know not), but the leaves are a changin and the weather is some 60 degrees or so out and sunny. Beautiful? Yes! No!!! I tell you why I say both. I woke this morning and thought it was quite lovely weather and it was a quite lovely day. As the day goes on, and I am a tad chilly with the door open (but I MUST keep it open, because how could you not on a day like this I ask?!) I decide that I need to have something warm and yummy. So I go to the pantry and search and search for something I could make or heat up and THERE in the far reaches of the pantry I see an UNOPENED BOX OF STRAWBERRY POPTARTS!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes! I kid you not! (this is where the No!!! part comes into play). So I think, WOOOHOOO! What an excellent suggestion from the pantry to provide me with exactly what I was looking for.

So I open the box, grab one poptart (cuz 2 seemed a little too much for so early in the morning) and I put it in the toaster. Now, my sister has decided to have (for reasons I know not) a pop up toaster instead of an easy, I can toast anything!, regular toaster. Examples::::::

This is the kind she owns (it sucks get a toaster oven)

The kind everyone should have, but I am sure you don't.

So, anyhoo, I put my poptart in the popup toaster and you know WHAT?! the thin pastry falls in between the prongs (because its too thin) and up against the little heat thingys that make the things toasty. So I am like OH SHIT! My poptart is going to catch fire. So I go grab a fork and I am just about to stick it in the toaster when I am like OH SHIT! (again) because duh...you cannot stick a metal object in an electrical device, thats suicde. So I drop the fork and for about 5 seconds I am debating with myself because I feel like another personality I didn't know exists was trying to make me commit suicide, and I almost died. So I am alittle freaked at this point and also my poptart is on fire! So I unplug the toaster and am too scared to stick my fork inside the toaster, just incase. So I flip the toaster upside down and shake the shit out of it and crumbs are going all of the damn place and FINALLY the poptart drops from the grasp of the crazy toaster device. It was burnt, and stunk.

I am still somewhat shooken up from this. And I still would like a poptart, but am afraid of the toaster.