Blinded by a Jalapeno

So, two days ago, I blinded myself with a jalapeno. How? Who really cares how....the real question is...ARE YOU OKAY GABY??!?! No! I yam not okay! I yam in pain and blind. Not blind enough to not tell you people about it, but blind enough where I need driving assistance and such. But, for you nosy people, I will tell the story. Make fun if you will....but it could have happened to ANYONE. Seriously. Total fluke.


4:00 P.M.
Gaby gets the bright idea to make tamales!!

4:20 P.M
Gaby writes her grocery list, grabs her mothers credit card, and dashes out the door too the grocery where she buys one SINGLE lonely jalapeno.

4:45 P.M.
Gaby gets home and starts chopping away at the jalapeno  whilst watching Kidd Kraddic live from her HP.

5:00 P.M
No later than 3 whole minutes...she is done with chopping and  washes her hands because that's the sensible thing to do.

5:07 P.M.
GABY WIPES HER FACE WITH HER HAND THAT SHE JUST CUT A LONELY JALAPENO WITH AND STARTS SCREAMING!

Yes, so at 5:07 P.M. I am like running around my kitchen calling for my mom who JUST LEFT (convenient right? Like I dropped out of culinary school here woman..don't leave me alone in a kitchen) and my sister starts from the top of the steps in a groggy, sleepy, CALM voice....
(picture below so you can match a face to the voice...)

What's wrong?

So I then sprint up the steps and tell her I got a jalapeno in my eye and I start taking contact solution and squirting the whole bottle of it in my eye ball while my sister calls my mom. So my mom is seriously all calm about it while I am on fire and honest to God thought I was going to go blind and she says...."take your contacts out!"

So by this point my eye was red and huge and swollen and in pain so I pry said eye open and grab my contact which is covered in jalapeno goop and it starts my burning process all over again.

**********So after touching the infected contact and in all my brilliant-ness, I  wipe my other eye and it ingulfs in flames as well.********

I thought I was going to pass out from the pain.

Eventually I stop freaking out and get use to the fact that I am idiot who's blind and totally fucked. I have no extra contacts here (which wont come in any use because I for serious burned by corneas and wont be able to put them in for a while) and my glasses are up at college (an hour and 15 minutes away).

So basically I go the rest of the day unable to see and the next morning at 6 am I have a break down because I CANT SEE and I now feel  for blind people cuz it really sucks to be blind an all. So my mom whom is a very very kinda woman offered to drive me to college...(.an hour and 15 minutes away)....in the rain... and she did. I can see kinda now!

and I know this was a long ass story, but thanks for sticking with. P.S. I have decided to get laser eye surgery so I go see a doctor on the 11th so this NEVER happens again...the whole contact bullshit thing...not the jalapeno thing cause I am sure it will happen again.