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Coked up PetSmart Hamster

So I went to PetSmart today to buy food for my fatass dog and I always stop by to see the cute little hamsters cause they're adorrrrrrrable.

I'd get one, but I have had like hundreds and they all end up getting out, or me purposly letting them out in the woods, or ya know...dying...cause I forgot to give them water.


SHORT STORY:::!!!:::
#1 When The Hamster Gets Loose In Your House And Your Mom Has To Call The Exterminator So It Doesn't Crawl In The Wall, Die, Rot, and Smell Up The Place.  

So when I was little I was obsessed with hamsters and I got my first one. I was a teeny little fireball and was all jacked up about this little fuzz ball. Cause okay all my siblings had animals like a bird and a farret and a fish and whatnot and I wanted a hamster. So my mom gets me this hamster and I named it Fluffy and she was tan and lovely. Well you know those like plastic tunnels that you put in the cages so that they can crawl in and get to like different chambers in the cage? Well I had a shit ton of them and they were like all over the place and it was fantastic cause this hamster had its own like...hamster maze palace. So one day I guess one of my siblings were playing by it and knocked it and one of the tunnels fell off and my hamster got out and no one knew for like....a day. So I finally notice and freak out cause uhh FLUFFY IS MISSING!!!!???!
So we all searched around and couldn't find it so my mom had to call and exterminator. Well I kinda freaked cause they were gunna KILL Fluffy here. But she told me that the exterminator has a super hamster radar that can detect where it is and catch it. So bye bye Fluffy.

SHORT STORY:::!!!:::
#2 When You Get Two Opposite Gender Hamsters Together That Eventually Reproduce And Make A Shit Ton Of Hamster Babies That Go Crazy And Want To Kill You, So You Leave Them In The Woods Somewhere So They Can Make There Own Little Evil Hamster Colony Far Far Away.

So after loosing Fluffy, my mom felt kinda bad and got me another hamster I named Ester. Well, I felt like Ester was lonley so I got another hamster I named Elenore. Well, Elenore turned out to be an Elton and helped make a little batch of baby hamsters. So that was really neat that we had baby hamsters an all, but then incest happend and it snowballed into a giant orgy of hamster sex and BAM! 43 babies later.... well, we called the pet stores around town and no one would take them for whatever reason and I couldn't stick my hand in the cage to get any of them out cause if you touch a baby hamster then the mom will eat it cause it has a human scent on it (I learned that the hard way) and then it would turn into a giant hamster cannibalism. So my dad had the bright idea of taking the hamster cage and driving it a few miles down the road and walking it into the woods, opening the door to the cage and running for our lives. I was kinda sad about leaving these poor guys out in the cold, but my dad assured me that they are wild animals that will eventually form there own colony like ants do.

SHORT STORY :::!!!:::
#3 When You Think You Want A Hamster Really Bad, But Realize You Have No Time To Take Care Of It And Eventually Forget About It and It Dies.

So when I was in high school I thought it would be fun to try and get another hamster. I did, and I named him Lahiam....he was a Jewish hamster. Well, after about two weeks it I kinda stopped playing with him and he kinda faded into the background an all and I would only remember to give it food and water when my parents reminded me. So this one month, my parents went out of town and all was gravy until the month ended and they were coming home and I suddenly remembered I had a hamster. So kinda I panicked and threw his dead hamster corpse in the trash and when my parents got home they saw him and I got in trouble of course and my mom made me go outside WHEN IT WAS MISTING (seriously, in the almost rain) to dig a hole and made me give him a mini ceremony.

After this, I never got a hamster again. BUT my point is...I went to PetSmart and I was looking at the cute little hamsters and there was one that looked jacked up on Coke or Speed and I thought it was like the funniest thing in the world. Like, I couldn't stop laughing and the people there were like...omg calm down you crazy Jew.

Click Mehh ::

Coked Up Hamster

Chapped Lips

Yeah, I have chapped lips at the moment so I decided to name my blog that, cause why not?

So, remember in my previous blog how I said I wouldn't make going to the movies alone a habit? I lied. :O (<~ thats a shocked/omg face incase you didn't catch the bond of symbol/capitol letter going on there). Yeah, I don't know why, but its kinda fun. I get to seat hop and stuff. I saw Dear John AND Alice in Wonderland (again) but this time in ACTUAL 3D! It twas AWESOME!!!! Seriously, the Chesire Cat was all up on my lap and shiz it was supremely superb. And :D, Johnny was so up in my face....it's the closest we have ever been (cause he has a wife an all and it wouldn't be right if we got that close all the time).

This is going to be short an sweet cause I just got back from a run and I smell kinda...so off to the showerz! But I wanted to show yoohz peoplez some pictures! ↓ ↓ ↓  (<~ haha look what I can do!)

So, we made gingerbread a few weeks back and I got seriously bored so I made a baby ↓

THEN I made a pac lazy :) ↓

THEN I made the pac lady eat the baby ↓

Happy new 60 degree weather/ spring time! woot!

-Gaby

Alice, Glasses, PostSecret, and....uh someother stuff.

I recently watched this movie called LymeLife that came out sometime last year and it has 2 of Macaulay Culkins brothers in it and throughout the entire movie I couldn't help but be creeped out at how all 7 of his siblings look exactly alike. Like, everything about them is the same...they look like twins X 7. It's hella weird and I can't help but think that maybe they were cloned or something whenever their money hungry parents decided they wanted another starlett or something. Seriously, go google a family picture.

So, for everyone that has/had my facebook....it's temporarily disabled due to personal reasons. I hope to be back as soon as possible. Don't think I deleted you. And if you went as far as to search the facebook name search and didn't see me (which I am sure you didn't cause thats stalker-like although I do it sometimes, but thats a different story)...I didn't block you either.

I saw Alice In Wonderland yesterday and sadly (not really) I went by myself because my friends are all lamos and either had to work or were all like..........oh my god you're going to see THAT?! Uhh yess, yes I yam and I'll tell you why......Johnny Depp is my home boy and I have never not seen any of his movies. He is my afterlife husband (cause he currently has a wife until further notice) and I really believe I need to support him now, so that our relationship later will be solid when the time comes.

I'm interrrupting to say that it's currently 2 am and I think my neighbors above me are having sex. I don't exactly hear the 'action', but I hear date music like...bow bow bow bow ooooooooooooooooooooooooh, going on up there and it's quite disturbing. Like, I hope you losers are old people cause otherwise that music is not acceptable...unless you're a lonley virgin and are inexperienced and trying to set the mood or impress your sad date. Good luck to you sir.

Okay, back to my Alice story. So it was AMAZING! I love love loved it. But the point of my story was that I went by myself and I went in feeling like a sad sad loser, because uhh hello I was by myself, but it was actually kinda fun cause I seat hopped and got to leave my trash (cause my friends always make me pick it up), like hello...what exactly do you think the people that work at the theatre do when you leave a movie and you see them wheeling in a trashcan and broomsticks? They're not rodent hunting.
PLUS I managed to go from the very top of the theatre and somehow made my way to the very very bottom rows where no one sits. It was pretty awesome. This does not mean though that I will be attending movies by myself frequently....so don't think I yam a hermit or something. I mean, I am....but thats only cause I haven't been in this state very long and well this is a different story I would rather not get into.

So at the movie they gave me 3D glasses, although it wasn't a 3D movie (?) trust me, I even put the stupid things on and nothing happened. But on the 3D package had the WARNING sign and it said....don't give to children under 5, choking hazard. Like, what exactly do you think is going to happen? A 5 year old is going to open it's teeny tiny toothless mouth and swallow giant thick rimed plastic glasses? Let's get real. I can kind of understand the plastic that is sealed around the glasses, but their is no warning for that. I would really like to meet the person that writes these hazard warnings and ask him what he swallowed as a child.

FOoood:

MY CARROT CAKEEE! It's beautiful, I know.

Muhh cheesecake. It fell apart so I just went chocolate crazy to cover it up.

My Lady Gaga cake. My chef was so not happy we did this, but she can kiss my rear. It's my cake and if I want to splatter raspberry puree all over it to make it look like someone got murdered by some cake I WILL.

So the otherday I was on my way someplace in muhh car and my phone starts ringning and I didn't recougnize the number, but I answered it anyways and the convo went like this:

Me: "Hello?"
-: "is this Gaby?"

Me:"Yes..."

-: "This is Mac...."

Me: Long pause

-:"Mac....like SuperMac?"

Me: ".....................................................OH MY GAWD! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!!?!?"

it was hiiim :D if you don't know who Mac is then you have been living under a freakin rock for your like entire effing life. Mac is like uber famous, and pretty much everyone knows who he is! Well, you're asking...why did he call Gaby? Cuz I AM AWESOME! Duh. I did something for him last month sometime and holy effing crow! We had a good convo....he gave me a Twitter shout out. :O

This is him, sigining autographs incase you didn't understand that hes important.

Mac (<~cliickk da link)

Click meh

Belated Valentines Day

Hello People.
I know, we are all SHOCKED that Gaby has decided to write 4 whole blogs on 1 whole week, but I have something important to show yoohs:

See all this??!?!

It's my belated Valentines Day present from muh best friend && fbook hubby, William Buster Samuel McKeehan.

(not the dog, she's mine)

He is a procrastinator, and tis why my package was late, just incase you were wondering why it was like a whole month late....kinda. He also included this letter (below). Please note I did NOT change any spelling in this letter, he really writes like this.

Dear Nerd,

How are you? I hope youre doing fine! First of all, I LOVE YOUSE! Lawl. I hope chew enjoy your Eastertines Day package! That is a mix of Easter and Valentines luv. Lolz. So I yam writing this letter a little late because ive been super freaking busy, and sinse I don't know how to make a wedding photo, I yam writing you a luv ledder. You should see how many red lines I yam getting while typing dis! Lolz. But anyway, I just needed to rant, can you believe its almost spring break?!? Its krazy! Anywhoser, I hope you like your eastertines day package.I yam very sorry that I didn't send you a REAL valentines day package ON valentines day.....I hope you can forgive me! Umm....So...SO! I just had a mini heart attack because I accidently pressed a button on the keyboard and everything ERR'THING wasgone! GONE! I was like blerg! ButI pressed the undo button and everything was good again. SOTRY TIME!!!~Then God made Saturn, and he liked it, so he put a ring on it! ~ Lol. Yes, I got that from all the facebook notices that people are joining  on facebook. As you can tell, I am just now writing this letter. To be perfectly honest, it is Thursday the 24th or some such 25th. Anyway, I can't wait for summer! And warm weather! And the lake! And being fat! Oh, ive decided to stay fat, because that's how god made me. Ok im just kidding. So im into 30 rock lately because its the greatest show EVER! Seriously, 30 rock is my Mash. I love Tina Fey, Id tap that. Im seriously giggling to myself while typing this in da library. Lol well, I don't have muchelse to tell ya. I how youre dewing well, and I hope you like (LOVE) your package! Call me if you don't get this!

Love, yer husband,

-Dr. Hottbutt

PS im waiting here to print this cus everybody and their mother is at the printer like wtf?

PSS Your package came with cotton candy but I had to eat it cus it didn't fit. It tasted like green apple you should've been there.

(me again :D ) Okay, so not such a "love letter" but thats my Buster Boo lol jk.

Just thought I would share cause, why not?

HAPPY MARCH!! Yay Spring!

Swimming && Post Secret & AIDS

As always, PostSecret. This week there weren't any that I could relate to, so I am just posting an interesting one.

Now for SWIMMING!

I have a confession:

When I was little, I was watching this tv show on Nickelodeon called Are You Afraid of the Dark and there was this episode where this school was built ontop of a burial ground and the swimming pool they had was built ontop of this murderers grave. So, when these kids would go swimming by themselves, randomly, the dead guys 'spirit' would drag them under and kill them. Ever since then I have always been afraid to go swimming by myself. For that reason, and because I have a terrible fear of sharks ever since (true story) I was attacked by one when I was 13. So therefore I cannot get into a pool by myself.

So, moving on, when I was at the gym, I swim and I get in the pool and there was this old lady kinda just sitting there and so I was okay doing my thing, but then she GETS OUT! Like, uhh hello, does she not know I have a phobia. Like, this could really happen and I could seriously get attacked by an imaginary shark or be pulled under by a dead man. So, she gets out and there are other people around but they're in the hot tub so I swim over to the step and sit there cause I don't want to look dumb. So I just sit on the steps and wait for someone to come along and get in the pool before I can resume my workout.

 WHEN I SEE IT

Like I said, sitting on the steps and I am frantically looking around me to make sure nothing is creepily moving or being odd when there is this TEEENY black speck approaching me. I like flip! Cause I am like, nothing is moving in this pool here and yet this black speck of something is coming towards me. So I like move alittle and it still is coming my way and then I swear I feel like a draft under the water and so by that point I am so out of there cause who wouldn't be suspicious of a black speck AND a weird draft? So then I sit in one of the chairs and wait for someone to come along (which she did eventually) and get in the pool so I can resume my workout.

That is all..

-Gaby.

 http://peaccebaby.blogspot.com/2009/09/motts-sliced-apples-on-go-im-sorry-ms.html

Killer Poptart II

We will get to the Killer Poptart part later.

Once upon a time....like 9 months ago, when I was in high school we did this play in theatre (yes, I was a theatre geek) called A Piece of My Heart. It was about the war (I don't recall which war cause this was like 9 months ago seriously) and what the nurses in the war went through. Maybe it was the Vietnam war. Yeah, I think it was Vietnam. I remember people saying "nam" a lot so it must be Vietnam. Anyways....it was about the hardship of the nurses of the Vietnam war and during one of the scenes they were at this night club smokin pot (pretending to smoke pot. Not actual pot, not that you didn't know that but just to be clear) and they were dancing all groovy-like to this song by Buffalo Springfield called For What Its Worth. So, me, being a flower child an all got totally attached to this song.

I kinda forgot where I was going with this story...

On to the KILLER POPTART....(part 2).

If you are an avid and dedicated reader to Kissing The War Goodbye than you know that once upon a time in August of 09, I wrote a piece (a blog, but it sounds more creative when I say 'a piece') on my Killer Poptart Expeirence . Well, I am bringing this up again,

BECAUSE,

I will not be dying from a toaster anytime soon! Yesssss! (that was a victory Yessss! not a Yes! Yesssss!)

So my sister has decided to come to her senses and BUY A REAL TOASTER! Cha!
Piiicture::

This is a demo, ours is black, BUT my point here is...I CAN MAKE CHEESEY BREAD!! And warm Poptarts!

So, if you have no idea what I yam talkin bout, go click the link I made for you above(cause I am crafty like that) and read my Killer Poptart experience.

Here is a random picture of me when I was a tiny little geeky child with glasses and braces:

I'm in the red. My twin sister is in the blue and my other sister is in the middle.

Since my sister (the one in the middle) decided to thoughtfully tag me on FACEBOOK with this lovely, yet embarrassing picture, I thought it only fair to show my blog readers cause..I might as well.

Okay! So my point about Vietnam and Buffalo Springfield.

So, I get all attached to this song and I am like...holy crow I am so musically cultured (it's true) but somehow I missed this amazing song?! So, I go on LimeWire (I am an illegal downloader) and download this song. Then LimeWire goes ahead and recommends all these songs that these other people downloaded along with this Buffalo Springfield song and it totally escalated my entire iTunes library into something HUGE. Like, I was introduced to all kinds of new artist from like....Janice Jopin to The Cure to Journey....I mean...how do you not know who JOURNEY is?! I didn't. I feel so blocked off from the entire world because I missed out on all this great music.

So MY POINT

I THEN I download all the JOURNEYsongs I can find, cause once you hear Journey you can never listen to anything else until you die basically. And so I downloaded Bob Marley and it recommended me this movie (which I was so not going to download off of LimeWire cause it was probably gay clown porn or something along those lines) so I go rent it. OH MY GOD. People, if you never watch another movie again it will be because you saw Taking Woodstock. I wanted to do Acid after I saw this movie (not really) but seriously, nothing could compare. Once again, I should have been borin in the 60's so if you aren't into 60's-80's music and don't like the idea of the hippie movement then don't listen to anything I am saying here.

True Story: So, I was on the Metro on Thursday and I was sitting next to this guy and I was listening to my iPod whichthe song Asleep, by the Smiths was playing and he was like......oh wow! The Smiths! And I am like...uh what? Cause I had my headphones in. So I shut off my music and I look at him and I am kinda like...oh wow, cute guy hello! And then he looked and repeated himself and then said ...I don't think I know anyone who likes the Smiths. I love the Smiths!

And I was seriously half asleep, and kinda mesmerized by this super cute guy so I think he thought I had a brain defficency and so he was like...."ohhkay?" cause I was kinda trying to process what he was saying and blinking at him for seriously 7 whole seconds (I was half a awake here.) And so after my brain understood what he was saying I was like..."oh my god! Sorry! My blood sugars low, I'll eat an apple and get back to you." And seriously I WAS HALF ASLEEP. So he kinda laughed at me and reached in his bag and pulls out a green apple and I am like... wow, you're really cute! We talked, then I had to get off. So, THE END.